Doorways

Maybe its just the frame that separates one room from the next
But I learned a long time ago that you never know what’s in the other room
You never know who’s coming in behind you
You don’t know if you’ll make it out before it just you, them, and the room
No more doorway

Headlights

Illuminating through a window as it passes by, late at night
Maybe it’s just a flash of light filling a room
But I learned a long time ago that it’s a warning to look out for
It’s a head start to fix anything that could give the person walking through the doorway an excuse to be angry

Hands

The soft, warm pressure that comes when someone touches you
Maybe it was meant to be only that, for just a moment
But I learned a long time ago that soft warmth becomes a crushing fire
Only seconds apart, with no time limit
Only minutes after the headlights sound their alarm
Only after the doorway is no longer an option

a long time later
I still hesitate to open doors & hold my breath when entering a room
a long time later
I still panic when I can’t see outside the window at night
a long time later
I still feel my skin burning when a friend pats my back

A long time ago was supposed stay a long time ago
But pain closes the gap of then and now
It blurs the lines of painful memories and a safe reality
Makes yesterday and yesteryear all the same

It wasn’t meant to be like this
It wasn’t your fault then
It isn’t my fault now

We know who’s fault it is
Even if, a long time later, we still can’t say what they did out loud
Even if, a long time later, we still blame ourselves

It’s was their fault, a long time ago